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The Purpose of this Email

January 15, 2024

The purpose of this email is to explain some of my thoughts and reasonings behind recent decisions that may have affected people in Prairie Public Schools. Grateful I am grateful for my time in the district. The last four years have been a whirlwind of ups and downs–pandemics, becoming a mom, a huge grade shift,…

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Category: unsent messages Tags: teaching

Hi Fam

January 13, 2024

Hi Fam. Read when you have time. I want to make sure you all know that I love you very much. These past few months have been hard. For everyone. I’ve been doing my best to balance being there for others and maintaining my (and my family’s) sanity. I don’t think I’ve done great with…

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Category: unsent messages Tags: boundaries, family, relationships

So Twisted

January 12, 2024

Switched off my other phone for the night. [I couldn’t handle anymore.] This has been a tough year.  I got bullied out of a job and had to figure out what to do next.  Dad has brain cancer which caused a ton of turmoil and is still like a ticking time bomb.  His twin died and…

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Category: unsent messages Tags: grief, processing feelings, relationships

woman with head down and the quote "the way you lied, the way you faked, the way you fooled us all. My heart you did break in pieces on the floor"

The Pit

January 11, 2024

The pit of my stomach Drops and it drops Every time I think about you. The way you lied The way you faked  The way you fooled us all. My heart you did break In pieces on the floor. Help me assemble What you’ve shattered. You’re the mother. You said I’m on my own I’m…

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Category: poems Tags: family, grief, relationships

you have this device glued to your hand mona lisa scribbles autistic anxiety

Answer the Phone

July 27, 2023

You have this device, glued to your hand. Except for right now. What is your plan? To leave me here all alone To fend for myself Just pick up the phone. Whatever you’re doing it can’t be so huge to ignore my call when my heart is so blue. I thought you had my back….

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Category: poems Tags: grief, relationships

Sad

July 10, 2023

I tried. I really did. Gave it the ol’ college try. I gave. I really did. Gave all I had and more. I asked for help. I really did. I reached out, grasping for some solution. To a problem too big for any of us. It’s the system. The damned system. What do you do…

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Category: thoughts Tags: community, teaching

The One Thing I was Good at

August 7, 2022

The one thing I was good at in this cult was listening to their CDs and reading their books. This was something we were told to do instead of watching tv or listening to secular music. (Don’t worry–we could listen to Christian music.) At the weekly meetings, there would be a part where IBOs (Independent…

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Category: my cult story Tags: cults, mlms, self-discovery

I can’t believe I was in a Cult

August 2, 2022

This is a realization I came to after years of telling myself it was a business that didn’t work out for me from which I had learned a lot. Then after that I realized it was a pyramid scheme and would refer to it as such to my husband. And finally, after listening to podcasts…

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Category: my cult story Tags: cults, mental health, mlms, self-discovery

This is My Cult Story

August 1, 2022

If you’ve ever been in an MLM, you will know that they don’t call it a cult. No cult calls itself a cult. It could be masquerading as religion, a calling, a business, an opportunity. Cults are sneaky. That’s how they get you. I was got. It took me years to realize how bad it…

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Category: my cult story Tags: cults, self-discovery

lipstick writing on mirror

I want to be loved

July 28, 2022

I want to be loved, but I want to be heard. I want to know why You don’t like me anymore. Why can’t we be friends With differing views? Why can’t we be okay If we win or we lose? Losing friends hurts my heart, But what will I do If I can’t speak my…

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Category: poems Tags: love, relationships, self-discovery

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Oh Brother

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