Switched off my other phone for the night. [I couldn’t handle anymore.]
This has been a tough year.
I got bullied out of a job and had to figure out what to do next.
Dad has brain cancer which caused a ton of turmoil and is still like a ticking time bomb.
His twin died and I essentially directed the funeral.
We renovated the whole basement with a toddler running around.
Then
Then I travel out of town to support my brother and end up getting screamed at and blamed for it (by him). I missed waking up with my sweet kid for his birthday because I wanted to support Kevin. My stomach hurts thinking about how I wasn’t there on his birthday but he was with Gaga Ellie having the best time. I also feel SO guilty for not expressing my concerns about the way James treated Brandon. It wrecks me to think that James could have caused him so much pain.
My Feelings are Reasonable
I think it’s reasonable for me to cry hysterically on occasion.
Yes, James is going through a hard time. I am as well. Please let me cry when I need to.
I think when I asked about how James was doing I was looking for a status on his mania. I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me he’s doing better and that it’s safe to talk to him.
So Twisted
I don’t know how things have gotten twisted so that you want to tell me to give James a break. I think about him all the time and miss him. I have one of the quilts he gave me in my preschool with the dolls.
I want him to get better.
It just might take some time.
