i see you and you don’t like it i see you and you can’t fight it i see you and i’m right you see me as a version of you you see me and my flaws as yours i’m raw unfiltered anxious and bruised taking off this mask this learned defense i’m reborn and confused…
self-discovery
it’s not that deep
it’s not that deep but don’t be shallow she’s such a mess so fucking callow but so am i and so are you and why can’t i just say a few things about myself reveal my true nature i’m naked over here how much will i wager that no one in this lonely broken world…
go find less
You sit on your throne of assumptions and notions you know that you know better than me. But why? Why do you think as an outsider as a bystander as a sideliner that you know anything at all? is it your gender? is it mine? is that why you so easily criticize and villainize and…
another message
giddy with excitement to find your next message my stomach a flutter my heart like butter. every haha every heart every word i sink deeper. eagerly i set another date that’s not really a date because it cannot be a date. we chat we cackle we ask we reveal. we in this room the only…
The One Thing I was Good at
The one thing I was good at in this cult was listening to their CDs and reading their books. This was something we were told to do instead of watching tv or listening to secular music. (Don’t worry–we could listen to Christian music.) At the weekly meetings, there would be a part where IBOs (Independent…
I can’t believe I was in a Cult
This is a realization I came to after years of telling myself it was a business that didn’t work out for me from which I had learned a lot. Then after that I realized it was a pyramid scheme and would refer to it as such to my husband. And finally, after listening to podcasts…
This is My Cult Story
If you’ve ever been in an MLM, you will know that they don’t call it a cult. No cult calls itself a cult. It could be masquerading as religion, a calling, a business, an opportunity. Cults are sneaky. That’s how they get you. I was got. It took me years to realize how bad it…
I want to be loved
I want to be loved, but I want to be heard. I want to know why You don’t like me anymore. Why can’t we be friends With differing views? Why can’t we be okay If we win or we lose? Losing friends hurts my heart, But what will I do If I can’t speak my…
Gold Stars and Demerits
I listen to a podcast by Gretchen Ruben called Happier, based on her book Happier and she and her sister talk about their wins and fails at the end of each podcast. They call them gold stars and demerits. I like the “gold star” because I will be an elementary teacher in a couple of years…
Dear Diary, I’m 30.
It’s been awhile, but I don’t want to waste time apologizing for my absence. It’s been weird, but freeing to not blog regularly this year. I’m 30 and I’m blogging. I’ve gotten to the point where I wish I could just start blogging over again where NO ONE was reading. When I knew no one…
