it’s not that deep
but don’t be shallow
she’s such a mess
so fucking callow
but so am i
and so are you
and why can’t i just
say a few
things about myself
reveal my true nature
i’m naked over here
how much will i wager
that no one
in this lonely broken world
will ever see me
i look around
and there’s not a person
not a soul
not a heart
just a hole
a hole in myself
that i just can’t fill
no matter the treatments
no matter the pill
my brain it just goes
and it goes
and it goes
and it self-destructs
into chaos and woes
and the throes
of my passion
but this thing of caring
is not in fashion
but can we just get
all our cards on the table
i’ll show you mine
you show me yours
if you’re able
just tell me
tell me
tell me
if it’s not so deep
tell me
i want to dig
to pull away the debris
to wipe away the fear
to hold you and heal you
i want to be near
can i read the words
written on the scattered pieces
maybe just once
then i can know
then i can help
please let me help
but i’m too deep
i’m too much
i poke and i prod
i cling and i clutch
till my unwilling victim
is broken and crushed
i want to be flippant
to be high above
but every time
i feel my feet rise
somewhere higher
somewhere happier
somewhere i could be better
i feel a pull
down to the earth
down below the surface
down into myself
where i’m back
looking at me
so deep
so much
so overflowing
with angst
with drama
with love
with trauma
i can’t keep it in
it goes so far down
i guess i’m doomed
to be
a little
too deep
