your humor stands out
as i look back
a silly story
good for a laugh
of cat poo
and potions
and cynical notions
and bashing
and crashing
and tales of rebellion
cornerstone to the holidays
in a folding chair
part of my life
just over there
as i grew older
not wiser
life showed me
the true armor
of comedy
of jest
when life hands you lemons
make a joke of
their sour
and sting
add a drop of spirits
call your dad and sing
be unserious
none will know
the brittle gospel
the baggage in tow
of a motherless girl
left so little and low
relations are not all
they seem
in times of need
they pull apart the seam
holding together the sweater
brace for the cold weather
the fragile yarn
fell to the floor
and you were left
so young to gather
to repair
to heal
to wear
the remains on your shoulders
the burden of living
the burden of knowing
the burden of disbelief
the burden of shielding
from those who are holding
the reigns in the world
you say the events
that took place in that room
you should have
could have
would have
had safety
not had to go
not had to talk
not take the blow
do not speak of it
just quiet yourself
hell no you shout
you spin right around
your feet on the ground
rebel against the system
keeping you down
bite the lemon
eat the worm
press on
standing firm
try every day
try in your way
never obey
obtain a cat
or two
or four
a funny furry family
hide the sweets
from your beau
hang tight
to your happy
always scrappy
then older me
not wiser me
saw a hand extended
a small yellow slice
to match my collection
a familiar connection
back and forth
here we are
each one’s protection
unburden me
unburden you
the symbiotic support
it grew and it grew
until you
were there
through the hard and the fair
through the screaming cries
through nothing to hide
bending this way and that
the hand with the fruit
strength from the cold
my soul food
you always answered
never a scold
when i called
any time
like a hug in the night
you gave me hot drinks
held me through the fight
for my own life
i owe you
everything
i’m not done repaying
how can you leave
i want more time
why did i deserve it
my whole life
pushed you aside
like nothing important
just a fixture
just a body
the regret that i hold
for one so deep
for one so caring
for one so defeated
what could i do
what have i done
nothing you say
you take my guilt
melt it away
you are honest
you are true
you are flawed
i am too
the cold months
are icy and brutal
i just wish
we had all known
it was the last winter
and i wish
above all
i could have
patched up
repaired
covered
fixed
the holes in your sweater
rip Jen
i miss you already
i’ll talk to you soon
my candle is steady
