you bomb me
with flattery
and intrigue
and humor
and
you pretend
you lie
you exaggerate
you fool
i jumped
towards your arms
you step
far back
i fall
you ignore
i feel
you abhor
why the change
why the twist
why the mean
i feel unseen
completely backwards
give me whiplash
can’t heal
can’t process
you say things
i weigh things
i wonder why things
changed
so fast
the leaves
in the fall
can’t compare
at all
i’m too big
although i’m small
why am i
the one to apologize
i’m smarter than this
i’m wiser than this
why can’t i figure this
thing called social
might as well
fold up into myself
hide with my cats
hide with my crafts
hide with my books
why do i lack
the part
inside
that attracts healthy
consistent
good
humans
why can’t i find
a kind
of friend
who gets
who knows
who frets
about things like i do
stresses like i do
has racing brain
like i do
truly feels
like i do
maybe i
am the fool
after all
