this is an edit of a previous poem.
i splash the rainbow
on every surface
i doodle, i prose
snap the prettiest pictures
look how happy
look how fun
shining bright
a midday sun
but scratch the surface
peel back the layers
tears will spill
my scars open
to the cold and the chill
and my wounds reveal
the busy
the terrible
the swirling whirling
fanatical musings
of a girl
of a woman
of a human
a soul
barely hanging to
the facade
to the notion
my finely crafted potion
tangled notions
and synapses
and suppositions
racing renditions
the position i fit in
so slim
so unique
so hectic
so bleak
reality pierces
a hole through textile
needling through
no point denying
this game of trying
i pick myself up
up by the bootstraps
if I show my dark
you would pull away
a blanket removed
too early in the day
“i’m fine,” i say
so I build up my fortress
of smiles and of glitter
look how clever
look how bold
a sparkly life
a portrait to behold
see me shimmer
as i bait you
await you
draw closer
draw myself
until i know
until you show
until you can’t possibly
let me go
