Buckle in for the end of the “Nine Days” dating story. Be warned–it’s very awkward.
Woman Got Mad I Didn’t Consult Her About Breaking Off a 9 Day Relationship
Nine Days–A Dating Story (Part One)
Nine Days–A Dating Story (Part Two)
Thursday, Day Eight:
We didn’t text much and I appreciated the space. I told Joyce I couldn’t hang out that evening since I had kiddo, but maybe we could hang out Friday during the day. I still wasn’t comfortable with a sleepover and she said she understood.
Friday, Day Nine:
I texted asking if she liked pasta and would she want to come over, take a nap together (we both talked about how we love naps), and eat pasta. She said that worked–she just had to leave by 2pm for her therapy appointment. Sounds good all around.
When Joyce was on her way, she told me to throw the pasta in so that we would have more time to nap. Since it was only 11am, I figured we would nap first, then pasta. Joyce said it was, “fine,” and that she was hungry but drinking a Pepsi and would be fine. This made me feel anxious like she wasn’t actually fine and I asked if she wanted a snack or something. She said she would be, “fine,” just that she hadn’t had her morning Clif bar. Still felt weird. I told her about my anxieties.
Joyce arrived and was kind of dismissing my anxiety. I was honestly probably having a panic attack–it felt like such a big deal even though I knew it wasn’t. She was trying to calm me down and said, “it’s okay, this isn’t a mountain, it’s a molehill.” I was trying to start a show for us to watch to take my mind off of things, and I remember saying something about how I knew it wasn’t a big deal, but tell that to my nervous system like lol I know this isn’t logical.
As I was picking a show I noticed Joyce got really quiet. I asked what was wrong and she was upset I blew off her “mountain/molehill comment.” Looking at her, she was almost pouting and she looked unbelievably sad. Since I was in the middle of my own panic attack trying to hold my sh*t together, I could not handle comforting her, too. I told her I needed some alone time so I could calm down and apologized this didn’t work out.
She was putting on her shoes so slowly, so sadly, she had tears in her eyes. She started crying and said, “I don’t know what I keep saying to make you upset,” and told me that she had her own anxieties and a “fear of abandonment.” I hugged and kissed her. She said it felt like goodbye and I, again, had to kind of shove her out the door. That whole part gave me the ick. It was just too much too soon. I texted her that, and also said, “this isn’t working for me. I can’t give you what you want.”
I took a calming med and took a nap. I woke up to a text saying, “can we meet up to talk.” I really didn’t want to–it was too much, too soon, like I said. I asked if she had anything new to add. Joyce said she wasn’t done with our conversation. Thus commenced our back and forth of me saying that I was done, and her telling me I couldn’t just make that decision with out her, and me saying, yes the f*ck I can. I don’t have to consult her or anyone else before ending a relationship.
I kept saying that I could hear her out, but it would not change my mind. We exchanged 287 text messages (I counted). I could have simply ended the conversation, but I was getting a little worried about how mad and aggressive she was becoming. She knew where I lived, I have a kid, it just felt important to end on a good note. I was trying to stick to my boundaries, be kind, and also calm her down. It was not working.
I was running late because of this back and forth, so I said I could call her in the car. She finally called and I told her I was recording the call. Usually that gives people accountability, but she continued to call me rude and selfish and asking me how I could do this to her. Joyce wanted to be clear that this decision affected her, too. She also admitted in the call that she was being mean on purpose because she wanted me to hurt like she did. Yikes. The conversation ended with her calling me a, “selfish bitch.” I sent a copy of the recorded conversation to her and blocked her.
I honestly don’t know what I could have done differently once I clocked the behavior. I’m still a little worried, but she didn’t out and threaten me.
What do we think? Am I overreacting or being paranoid? I did save all the texts and the recording if anyone is interested. Thank you for being here to read my weird story!!
