This is a dating story I submitted to Charlotte Dobre under the category, “Am I Overreacting?” Let me know what you think!
Woman Got Mad I Didn’t Consult Her About Breaking Off a 9 Day Relationship
Sunday, Day Four:
I had my kiddo Sunday day and night, so I texted Joyce a lot that day, but didn’t see her. We exchanged memes, she talked about seeing her niece and nephew, and she said she told her friends about me. Joyce’s friends aparrently told her that she looked, “so happy,” which made me feel pressure to keep her happy or something. I told her as much. I asked, “what if we end things and you go back to being sad.” Joyce said that she’s always sad and that’s why she does therapy and takes meds. Fair enough.
Monday, Day Five:
I had told Joyce I wanted to hang out with my friend Monday night and that I had a date that night as well. That date turned out to be agressively weird, and I was texting Joyce about it. I asked if she wanted to come over, she did, and we had a friendly, snuggly night. I had told her I needed a night with nothing physical (although she had said, “that’s totally fine, but kisses are mandatory,” which is weird looking back but I was like, “haha.”
Tuesday, Day Six:
Joyce got me coffee and breakfast, then left early in the morning before kiddo came over. I again had to shove her out the door before kiddo got there. She would not stop kissing me. She said she had a good time, but maybe give her a little more notice next time. I didn’t like the vibe of that because she decided to come over, no one forced her. I told her that, but she had to leave. Joyce texted me she was sorry if I offended her and that I was totally right–she made the decision to come over.
That day I was playfully telling Joyce she should put a picture on her dating profile with her glasses (meaning she looks super cute with them). She said we should take new pictures soon. I then made a comment about how we need to work on her profile, too. I had my kid that night so I sent that and then hung out with kiddo. I thought about it randomly during bathtime that it might have been a little mean, so I went back to apologize. She got kind of upset like, “it’s kind of pissing me off that you keep bringing this up every day now.” I was confused because what is every day? And she seemed okay with it, but I also came back to apologize. She appreciated it. Everything seemed good.
Wednesday, Day Seven:
She texted me, “You’ve spoiled me with morning kisses. Now I want some!!! Good morning beautiful.” Which felt a little much. I just said, “excited to see you tonight,” since we had made a plan to see my karaoke friend at her birthday party. She asked how I slept and I said my back was sore after sleeping on the couch in my kid’s room. She offered to come give me a massage and I said, “I meannnnn yeah I want a massage, but are there strings attached?”
I’ll admit I could have said it differently, but she was SO offended by this. She could not understand that I was asking the general question of, “are you expecting anything to happen,” since she had not done anything to make me feel that way. I told her it’s not personal, I just wanted to clarify expectations.
She kept telling me I shouldn’t hold her responsible for things from my past. I said, yes I could because that’s how humans work. We use our past to inform our present and future. She was so mad. She wanted to talk on the phone about it because she thought something was getting lost in the message.
We talked on the phone and, shocker, we said the same things. She got so mad at me she was raising her voice and cutting me off. When I told her she was interrupting me, she said she knew she was and had some reason that I deserved to be talked over. I told her I’m not okay with how this is going and maybe we need to take some space. She started tearing up and asked if it was just over like that.
Over text, she apologized saying she was having an emotional day and shouldn’t have even been saying those things. I told her that maybe we could take like a month to take space, gain perspective, go to therapy, etc.
When I was at my karaoke friend’s birthday party, karaoke friend said, “Awe, Joyce seemed like such a grounded person.” And I agreed. I had a drink and ended up texting Joyce to see if she wanted to come to the party. I figured it was just a bad day. Joyce was great–made friends, was touchy-feely, complimented my singing, etc. I did tell her I didn’t feel comfortable doing a sleepover yet. She said she understood.
